Casablanca is Michael Curtiz’s romantic drama from 1942. with Humphrey
Bogart, Ingrid Bergman and Paul Henreid in the majo roles. The plot is set
in the Moroccan city of Casablanca during World War II, and focuses on the
conflict between, in the words of one of the heroes, love and virtue. You
can visit this site for Casablanca download.
Gerry, Chris and Kyle discuss the films coming out on DVD and Blu-ray June 19th.Project X is a very bad “home-movie” style film that’s sure to entertain only teenage boys. Wanderlust is a strange comedy with Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston that has more nudity than laughs. Big Miracle is a family movie about whales that Gerry didn’t really care for. Be sure to subscribe to and rate the podcast!
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Gerry, Chris and Kyle discuss the films coming out on June 15th and predict what their rottentomatoes.com scores will be. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter has us split. Might have cool action but may also be the most egregious rewriting of history ever. Brave is a consensus winner thanks to a superb trailer. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World seems to be the one that we’re all dying to see. Steve Carell at his manic best. To Rome with Love has that arthouse feel but also seems to be getting a number of bad early reviews. Check out the trailers and our rottentomatoes.com predictions below and be sure to subscribe to and rate the podcast!
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Gerry, Chris and Kyle discuss the films coming out on June 29th and predict what their rottentomatoes.com scores will be. Magic Mike looks like a movie that will successfully drive some ladies wild and the rest of us a little insane. Why in the hell is Steven Soderberg directing it? Ted is a movie that may be a practical joke taken too far or one of the funnier R-rated comedies to be released in a while. Check out the trailers and our rottentomatoes.com predictions below and be sure to subscribe to and rate the podcast!
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You have to respect an actor or actress who manages to make it big while breaking the traditional “Hollywood mold.” Which brings us to this week’s Rising Star, Gabourey Sidibe. Take a look at Gabourey, the star of 2009’s Precious and part of the talented ensemble cast of the upcoming caper comedy Tower Heist. She certainly isn’t your typical Hollywood starlet, and it is refreshing to see that a female can be successful without having to be “skinny” and “beautiful.”
Sidibe was born in Brooklyn, New York and grew up in nearby Harlem. Her mother is a singer who appeared on America’s Got Talent in 2010. Her father drives a taxi. After her humble upbringing, she attended Mercy College. There isn’t too much to tell about her acting career, which is part of what makes it so incredible. Her first film was the 2009 drama Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire. She starred in the film as the main character Claireece “Precious” Jones, and her performance was widely acclaimed. In fact, the film was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture, and Sidibe’s performance earned her an Oscar nomination for Best Actress, as well as BAFTA and Golden Globe nominations.
To take on your first movie role at age 26 and be nominated for an Academy Award is a pretty remarkable feat. Since Precious, Sidibe has had a few roles on television shows, a funny short on Saturday Night Live with Andy Samberg entitled “Cherry Battle,” and the aforementioned movie Tower Heist, which opens in theaters this Friday, and the early reviews are solid. Let’s hope Sidibe’s acting accomplishments are the precursors of much more to come, and hopefully her physical appearance will inspire more young women who don’t look like Barbie dolls to not be afraid of going into acting. Kudos to Gabby, and if Tower Heist is good, we can add “the magical ability to make Eddie Murphy funny again” to Sidibe’s growing list of accomplishments.
It’s a crazy, mixed up world we live in. There doesn’t seem to be anything that everyone can agree on. I was excited when I heard about Adam Sandler’s new movie, Jack and Jill, because I thought to myself: “Finally, something that will completely unite the people of the world. EVERYONE will agree that this movie is garbage.” But, my faith in humanity was knocked to a new low when I went to rottentomatoes.com today and saw this:
75% OF PEOPLE WANT TO SEE THIS???!! What is going through the heads of these 75% of people? Have they seen the trailer? Can someone have that much of an affinity for Adam Sandler and be completely blind to how bad this movie looks? I really didn’t think it was possible for anyone in the world to want to see this, even the biggest Sandler fans, and I am totally distraught that 75% of people do. Is there a way to disown the human race?
Granted, a small percentage of these people may want to see it for ironic reasons. They may want to see it so that they can see how far Sandler has fallen and see for themselves how bad this movie actually is. Still, 75% is way too high. I know that I will see this movie eventually over a few drinks. But I won’t pay a dime for it and I will be mocking it the entire time. If it’s like other recent Sandler vehicles, it’s bound to make at least $40 million at the box office, which is really distressing.
After the release of this year’s Bucky Larson, I didn’t think it would be possible for a worse movie to come out. It really looks like Mr. Sandler is going to prove me wrong. As a youngster, I thought that Adam Sandler was one of the funniest men on the planet. This movie is making me doubt everything I thought I knew, and making me think that my entire childhood was built on a foundation of lies. Have his movies always been this bad? Why did I used to like him so much? Why do people still like him? These questions, and many, many more (WHY AL PACINO? DEAR GOD, WHY??) are racing through my head right now, and I’m disappointed in my fellow humans for falling prey to this poop movie.
For 90 minutes, One Day was almost entirely unwatchable. Between Anne Hathaway’s horrendous accent switching back and forth between bad Cockney and bad New Yorker, the two lead characters both loving and loathing one another, and the intolerable plot device of only seeing each other once a year, this movie had nothing going for it.
That said, One Day was absolutely worth watching.
“But how?” you might ask. Great question. From everything I’ve explained so far, it would seem that this movie is a complete waste of your valuable time. I should rephrase: this movie was worth watching for me, so that I could discover this one scene to show you, sparing you from having to suffer through the rest of it. There is one highlight that is so high, you’ll wonder how the rest of the movie could have been so bad.
It’s imperative that I set this scene up properly so that you can have a full understanding of what’s about to unfold. This movie has an ungodly 107 minute runtime. Since I knew that the two leads were going to get together eventually, I was surprised that it happened so early in the movie. I mentioned above that this scene occurs roughly 90 minutes in, so there were still twenty minutes that needed to be killed. So, Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess are already married and are having trouble conceiving. During a little tiff, Anne says something brash and goes to the local pool to swim off her angst. After her swim, she realizes the error of her ways and leaves Jim a voicemail telling him how sorry she is and that she loves him. Then, we see her riding her bicycle through a busy London street, and we know something divine is about to happen.
BAM! Holy shit! That truck absolutely destroyed her! Why am I laughing so hard?! I can’t watch this clip and not laugh uncontrollably. I’ve thought about it for a while now and decided that it’s so funny to me for three reasons:
Maybe you have to hate the rest of the movie as much as I did to get a full appreciation for how wonderful that is. I can certainly see how you could think that I am a heartless monster. I don’t care. Man, that was great. I’m really glad I sat through that whole movie just for that 42 second scene. You can leave your thank-you’s at the bottom of the page.
There are plenty of reasons why having children is a scary thought. Sure, they are little bundles of joy and I’ve heard that there’s nothing like the loving connection a parent feels toward their child. But is it worth having to suffer through Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked type movies 5-6 times each year? I don’t have the answer to that very difficult question, but I have a solution that would eliminate it entirely.
Even though I hated nearly every second ofChipwrecked (save for some decent lines from David Cross), I have a hard time being too harsh since it is clearly a kid’s movie and nothing more. It lacks the ambition of other children’s movies likeUp, Nemo, Rango, etc. The entire point is to capitalize on soon-to-be-obscure pop culture references while entertaining kids for 90 minutes and making obscene amounts of money.
So why should parents have to suffer through the likes of Alvin, Hoodwinked Too, Furry Vengeance, Marmaduke, etc.? They shouldn’t. So here’s what I propose: A special daycare like theater where parents can take their children to the theater, leave them under the care of an essentially glorified babysitter, and pick them up when the movie is over.
The designated children’s movie theater is set up almost exactly like every other theater in the multiplex with a few differences. It has a concession stand right outside for the children to redeem their one snack voucher and one drink voucher (included in admission price). The lighting isn’t quite as dim so that the chaperones/babysitters can keep tabs on the kids (there are 2 chaperones in each theater). The movie is always stopped at the half way point to give children the opportunity to take their restroom break (supervised by the chaperone). It’s not rocket science.
If the theater is doing things properly, they will coordinate the show times of grown-up movies so that the adults can catch a different flick while their kid is enjoying the screen-garbage in their theater. For example, if a parent had dropped their kid off for Chipwrecked back in December, the theater could have coordinated scheduling with Tinker, Tailor or MI4. You get the idea. Simple and elegant.
What’s the downside to this? The kids love the façade of independence, the parents don’t have to suffer and have the choice to enjoy a real movie, the theater charges $15/kid for admission and snacks. It’s a win-win-win. Somebody really needs to take care of this soon so that I have one less reason to worry about having children of my own.
In Theaters 6/1
In 1812 there was a war going on, but for once the Germans weren’t involved in it, and with their free time, the Brothers Grimm gave the world the classic fable of “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.” Over a century later, in 1937, Walt Disney retold the timeless tale in his first full length animated feature. The story was retold before and since, but never on quite so grand a scale. So I think we can all agree that after 75 years, we were do for another major motion picture retelling.
As luck would have it, there are going to be TWO to choose from in the next two and a half months. I know the excitement is overwhelming and your first instinct is probably to jump from your seat and run around your house screaming with joy. But I beseech you, hold on for just a few minutes because the following could be an invaluable tool for you.
Many of you Snow Whiteophiles out there, like me, are probably thinking, “I want to see a Snow White movie sooooo bad! But Jared, I am thirty five and I live with my parents and they only give me 9 dollars every three months for an allowance. How do I choose which one to see????” The following is a compare/contrast chart which should help you decide which Snow White feature is right for you: Mirror Mirror or Snow White and the Huntsman.
Star Power:
The most important thing in any film, particularly one with a story as compelling as Snow White’s, is who will be playing the key roles, and if they can deliver. On the one side we have Mirror Mirror starring still relatively unproven Lily Collins and American treasure Julia Roberts. “But Jared, isn’t Julia Roberts supposed to be the fairest in the land before Snow White comes along? She wasn’t that attractive in her prime, and now she is 44. Lily Collins is cute sometimes I guess, but the fairest in the land? What kind of unattractive fantasyland does this film take place in?” Fair points, but lets not forget that while Julia Roberts may be no better looking than the average women’s college basketball coach, she is and Academy Award winning actress. Toss in some supporting performances from Nathan Lane, Armie Hammer, and Sean Bean, and it seems like a pretty solid cast.
On the other side of the fence we have Snow White and the Huntsman starring Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart. Putting aside for a moment the fact that Charlize Theron will be fairer than Kristen Stewart for at least another 15 years or so, this cast is a little bit more of a wild card. Theron has given dazzling performances, such as her Academy Award winning turn as Aileen Wuornos in Monster, but when she doesn’t take a role seriously, she can single handedly ruin an entire film, as she did in Hancock (with the help of a very stupid and poorly written character). Kristen Stewart was very solid in Adventureland, but has yet to convince us that she can shine without the world class acting talents of Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson propping her up. Chris Hemsworth is a proven action star, and in a surprise twist could be a dark horse candidate for fairest in the land by the time it’s all said and done.
In Theaters 3/30
Comedy vs. Drama:
It seems to go without saying that the only way to tell such a compelling and moving tale is with some good old fashioned drama. However, films like Shrek have proven that the fairy tale genre can be effectively expressed through family comedy, and movies likeRed Riding Hood have shown that overly dramatic tellings of a story for children can be unbearably bad.
This really just comes down to your personal opinion. Are you in the mood for a light hearted and hysterical romp, or for a dark and grisly thriller that will have you on the edge of your seat? If the trailers are any indication, these films will offer you moving action-drama and absolute hilarity. The choice is yours.
Tradition vs. Feminism:
Some of you may simply want a classic retelling of the story without Hollywood taking too many liberties. If this is the case, Mirror Mirroris the safer bet, as it seems that other than making everyone worse looking than the Brothers Grimm had envisioned, the heart of the story will remain the same.
However, maybe you were in a Clinton supporter in 2008 and you are tired of the whole “damsel in distress” angle, and all you really want is to see a 112lb vampire’s girlfriend strap on some armor and start whooping some ass. If that is the case, you will want to give Huntsman the edge, because the story focuses around Snow White staging a military rebellion against the throne.
The Decision: Despite the clear differences, it will still be a tough choice for all of us when deciding which Snow White movie to see. If you live near Vegas or Atlantic City, I would recommend putting your $9 on a roulette spin, because the risk of losing everything is worth the potential reward of getting to see both of these sure-fire masterpieces.
Alright, so I saw Clash of the Titans two years ago and now I’ve seen Wrath of the Titans. Why would I see the second after not particularly caring for the first? I too am wondering what the hell is going on in my brain.
Clash of the Titans was about… something. Gods, Sam Worthington, running around, and the Kraken I think. There was some stuff blowing up and guys yelling. I remember not caring. I also forgot everything that happened pretty much as it was happening. Wrath of the Titans is about titans from what I can tell. Perseus has been putzin’ around for years doing boring things like fishing. Zeus and the other gods are losing all their powers for some reason and complaining about it to anyone that’ll listen. So Hades and Ares decide to team up and let Kronos loose. Everybody’s up to their old tricks! And I hate it.
I’ll tell you what I don’t want in my big-budget super-power filled Sam Worthington explosion fest: lessons about family. So Perseus is Zeus’ mud-blood son. Ares is Zeus’ thoroughbred son. Ares hates Perseus because papa is always jabbering about his favorite boy. Meanwhile, Hades, Zeus’ little bro, is in pissy mood because Zeus banished him to the underworld. I don’t care about any of this. You’re gods. Nothing should matter to you. You are a god. Go throw a lightning bolt at someone. And doesn’t Zeus have like a thousand kids? Give it a rest, Ares.
What’s interesting about the movie is that the writing tries to spell every step of the movie out to you. Because you can’t think. You are the worst (according to the folks that handled this mess.) But the movie’s events happen in such a way that it’s actually impossible to figure out how our pals got to this impasse and how they got out of it. My favorite example being when the gang comes across a seemingly unsolvable maze. They run around banging into walls for a while trying to make progress then the whole place shifts around and they’re screwed. Don’t worry though. After a while one them just turns and goes, “Oh look, there’s the end.” Terrific. Luckily you don’t actually care why they’re there or what they’re trying to do.
The effects are pretty good. I enjoyed the darker look. The scale of everything was grand. I can’t think of anything else nice to write here.
*SPOILER: The movie is terrible and you shouldn’t watch it. Mind as well just ruin the end too.*
Now I feel I have to vent a little bit on a stupid thing that a lot of stupid movies tend to do. The villains have presumably been planning this coup for a while. They not only have troubling intentions, but one of the villains is f***ing Hades. The god of the underworld. The king of all things evil. But don’t worry Zeus goes, “Hey, Hades. My bad about banishing you to the underworld and all.” Hades goes, “Yea. Let’s team up and kill our mean daddy, Kronos.” So the whole evil plan is wiped away and Zeus and Hades wreck shop. Let’s just all agree that any movie where a villain is talked down or has an epiphany is terrible. That’s not how things work.
The movie is alright if you like effects and hate thinking.